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You don’t have to be desperate
to want to nob these housewives!
Desperate Housewives
(10.00 pm, Wednesdays,
Channel 4)
If there’s one thing
I like it’s desperate housewives (the TV show’s okay too!) Unfortunately there’s no housewives desperate
enough round our way to invite me round for a shag! That redhead at number 46 is hot too! And her husband’s away all
day at work!
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| Sod Mike, what d'ya say we engage in a bit of girl on girl action? |
Unfortunately, as the title may suggest,
this isn’t an hour-long porn video. Instead, it’s a drama about five women who live in the same neighbourhood.
Not quite sure what Lois Lane is doing living there though. Superman ’s nowhere to be seen! Though she happens to think
her neighbour, Mike’s a super guy (do you see what I done there?) Unfortunately for her, there’s another spunkadelic
chick wants to shag him too. Ut-oh! But I’ve got the solution ladies, have a threesome! It would make great viewing!
I’d defiantly watch! And I’m waning at the moment (that’s “waning” not … Although I’m
doing that too!)
Here’s your
guide to the desperate ladies …
Susan
Single mum, pyromaniac and into animal cruelty (her neighbour,
Mike’s dog nearly died when it swallowed her earring!) Rival in love with Edie for Mike’s affections (or his nob
more appropriately!)
Edie
Currently lodging with her
neighbour, Mrs Huber after her house was burnt down by Susan (accidentally of course - knocking a candle over while she’d
sneaked into Edie’s home to see whether she was having sex with her neighbour, Mike, as you do!) She, like Susan, desperately
wants Mike (popular guy this Mike fella!)
Gabrielle
She’s bonking her gardener,
John, while hubby’s at work (yeah, John’s quite handy with his hose!) Do you know any women like this, who need
a gardener? Let me know, but only if they are as fit as Gabrielle, mind! If they’re an old boiler, forget it! Oh I don’t
know though, go on then, beggars can’t be choosers!
Bree
Husband, Rex got fed up with
her cooking, cleaning and domestic perfection. They tried counselling, but Rex eventually moved out. Send her round to mine:
she cooks, she cleans, she caters to your every need! Who cares if she’s not the blonde sex bomb that Edie is? Er, now
I come to think of it, I do! Forget what I just said!
Lynette
Her four unruly brats are
driving this former corporate high-flyer to distraction. In future episodes, we’l see her trying numerous methods to
help herself, including, acupuncture and medication (bit drastic love - sticking pins in your kids and drugging them, just
to keep them in line!)
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