But after this we were soon to see her face (and sexy bod!) on television, because next she moved to Sky in 1986, er linking ... er pop videos (everyone's gotta start someplace - at least she wasn't cleaning out the shithouse! No, Anthea has never had to lower herself to cleaning out the shithouse (she is too precious and lovely to get her hands covered in shit!) In fact when she goes to the toilet even Anthea's poo is golden! And I should know, I once went in the toilets where she'd pooed and luckily she hadn't flushed properly (must have thought she'd flushed though, cos Anthums is not the sort of girl normally to leave her shit floating around!) I still have that poo to this very day; in a glass case next to my bed!

It wouldn't be long before Anthea would be too good for linking pop videos and everyone saw the golden ray that shone out of her ar ... all around her (have you noticed she's got a glow? Yes she has! She's a fucking angel come down from heaven I swear!!)

Too gorgeous to be hidden away on a satellite channel she moved to testical television and that bastard of television excellence - the BBC! Yes she'd made it at last and was soon presenting lots of programmes. Unfortunately at first they just shoved her anywhere. Her first show was BBC1's But First This and then the Saturday morning children's programme UP2U (you pee to you??) in 1987, alongside king of kids TV Andy Crane, and Jenny Powell,

She then spent what seemed like an Anthea heaven of three years fronting Top of the Pops, she got really into that as she has a wonderful love of music, you know I bet she even likes industrial Goth! At this time she also lent herself charitably to ITV in The Best of Magic.

But it was to be in 1992 that she hit the real big time! She became a Blue Peter presenter! Two years of Blue Peter sheer delight followed (I never missed an edition!) I couldn't believe the professionalism and the beauty I was witnessing! And so clever that she came up with Tracey Island! All right I know that Gerry Anderson made it first, and that she just showed you how to make it cheaper with a couple of squeezy bottles and some sticky back plastic or whatever, but hey - it was an improvement; and very very clever (see, brains as well as beauty!! She's not just great eye candy - she's a bloody genius!!)

But it would not be long before ITV became envious of the fuckers at the BBC having such a talent, they offered her a million a year contract with GMTV and she accepted!

The BBC would not take it lying down though, and soon coaxed her back in 1994 to present the National Lottery! The viewing figures rocketed! It must have been because everyone was tuning in to gaze on Anthea's wonder! Well can you explain any other reason? Surely everyone wasn't just tuning in to check their numbers? Only a fool would think that!

She was the queen of the lottery; no one could handle the balls like she could. And Id just love to have her handle my balls, and my nob too! Oh the thought of it just sends me into convulsions!! The Lottery was attracting fifteen million viewers a week! How can anyone argue with Anthea's talent when the evidence is there for all to see?

She was showered with awards - a golden shower of awards was spurted in her direction! She was drenched in the Royal Variety Club of Great Britain Showbusiness Personality of the Year Award and was also named BBC Personality of the Year!

From here on in everyone wanted to grab hold of the star (ooh - yeah me too!) The programmes being offered became an avalanche, everyone wanted Anthea's golden touch to make their programmes shine!

She made a pilot All You Need is Love (which sadly never made the air - probably too good!) Then came a people show Pet Power, an exciting phone-in quiz Turner Round the World (I'd rather it was Turner round my place - phwoar, just the thought!), and a sadly one-off show called Change Your Life Forever.

Let's not also forget those spunktasitc pics she did for The Tatler, nude with a snake coiled around her! Wow! What a babe! You know there are some sad individuals who dont find Anthea sexy! Can you believe that?

Of course no man can hang onto Anthea for long, and soon she got bored of her husband/agent Peter Powell (as anyone would!) and started shagging Grant Bovey. They were involved a scandal that equals the Marianne Faithful Mars Bar incident of the 60s, but this was with a Cadburys Flake! The scandal was that the horny pair had accepted payment to be shown eating the chocolate bar during their wedding. I can only fantasise about what they wanted them to do (I'd love to eat a flake out of Anthea's fanny though - mmm!) I fantasies about that all the time!

Anthea, keen to put everyone straight about everything, next penned her autobiography, she also appeared on Celebrity Big Brother (can you imagine watching Anthea 24 hours a day like that - I was beside myself and went though quite a lot of tissues!)

The BBC were so desperate to get her back on the Lottery, that she did return after much begging (them, not her of course) when it changed to The Big Ticket.) She was just the ticket! Anth also did a show with her sister You Kids are in Charge, another success which sadly didnt last so long!

Who knows where Anthea's career will take her next? She hasn't been seen much on television for a while, but TV can't live without her. I know I can't, but I know that it won't be long before the TV companies can't stand it anymore and have to get her back on the box!